Condition Update: Nicole had scans in October. Thankfully, she remains in remission. Special thanks to Dr. Kaplan for filling in so well for Dr. Trippett. Dr. Kaplan, is held in special regard as she has cared for Nicole throughout the transplant process.

Nicole was recently recognized for her work in raising awareness about the Catastrophic Illness in Children Relief Fund For Children. We thank all the committed members of that fantastic organization. We applaud their dedication and hard work in aiding families so devastated by childhood disease with the resources to deal with the financial burdens of childhood illness.

Upcoming Events: Wayne Valley High School Blood Drive - Tuesday November 18, 2008

In Her Own Words

Below is the text of a speech Nicole wrote herself. She volunteered to speak to the youth in our church as they approached Confirmation.

Growing up my family and I were pretty much like any other family in Wayne. We rarely missed church and always tried to do the right thing, whatever that may have been at the time. I was so active and wanted to do everything and anything. I played softball, basketball, tae kwon do, dance and more. I felt as though nothing could get in my way in life and nothing could go wrong.
But, on a day that would shake the faith of many Americans, mine was shaken too, but for another reason. I felt like my life had ended On September 11, 2001. On that fateful day I tried to go to my teacher because I felt that something was wrong with me but I didn’t know what. I had a lump. She sent me back to my seat saying it was probably just a mosquito bite. I went home told my mom and then she told my dad and they took me to the hospital. I was sent home with what was thought to be a broken collar bone, and we thanked god that nothing was seriously wrong. Unfortunately the doctors were wrong.
I went back to the hospital that next day and I was admitted to see what exactly was wrong with me. I stayed there for a little over 2 weeks. All I could say is why me, why is this happening. A couple days after I was there I had surgery and my life had really ended. The doctors said I had cancer, but I didn’t really understand what that meant or what was going to happen to me. The doctors threw all these terms at me but the only thing that I could understand was that I had to cut my hair really short because I was going to lose it. When I finally went home I cried for a long time, hated God and stopped believing in one, because what God would do this to a 10 year old child.
I went through 6 Months of intense Chemotherapy, which was the treatment for my type of cancer, known as Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and felt every side effect from treatment. Leg pain, nausea, and eventually all my hair was gone. I got a wig and wore it every day and let no one see me without it, not even my family. But those six month were finally over and my family and friends were still there and I started to let God back into my life. I started to get back to all the sports I had played and couldn’t wait to go to middle school. I felt it was all a nightmare and my life was going to get back go the way it should have been.
All of this didn’t last long. I relapsed and had to go through all of this treatment once again, and lose my hair for the seconded time. Only this time I went to a different hospital that was filled with kids with cancer and all you saw when u walked in there was bald heads. I couldn’t handle that, so I was off in the corner by myself with my mom and dad, screaming inside. All I wanted to do it is go home and be with all of my friends. But I did what I had to do to live. The doctors told me his time around was going to be even harder for me.
While I was there I met a couple of my best friends and the best people that I would ever meet. One of the first people I met at the hospital was Sean Hanna. He took me under his wing, so to speak. Sean got me out of my room and made me feel a little more comfortable in a terrible situation. I also met Jessica Foti, Mike Romano, Jesse Disanto, Jesse Spina and Lauren Payton. Jessica was a girly girl and I really connected with her. We talked about nails, fashions and just girl talk. Mike was a little younger than me and I think he had a crush on me at one point. He was full of life. We used to play cards together all of the time. Jesse Disanto. Was the “bad boy”. He was older and always made fun of me and do things that I only thought people did in the movies, although I shouldn’t have been surprised because he had this “get in your face” personality. Jesse Spina was more quiet and really never talked in the hospital for reasons known only to him. I use to get him out of bed and get him to talk to me. We even hung out outside the hospital and went to the mall. Our family’s even got together for bbq’s. And last but not least, there was Lauren. She is so funny and doesn’t care what people think about her. She calls me her "mini me" because we like all of the same things and always made fun of the doctors and nurses. She is one person that I will always keep in my life.
Even with all my new friends at my side I was going to have to got through the hardest experience ever, alone. I was going to have a transplant, which means I was going to be put into isolation for over a month in 12X12 room. Not even my parents could touch me without gloves on. This was because I was given mega high doses of chemo and my immune system was completely gone. It was awful, I couldn’t do anything but watch t.v and play board games, oh and sleep. At one point I was out of it the doctors were really starting to be scared of my mental state of mind, but they knew I had some pep because I was still really nasty to them, so I guess that counted for something. When I finally came home I couldn’t be in large crowds and couldn’t really be with my friends for 100 days. While all this was happening my mom got very religious and I just couldn’t handle it because I felt that I had finally let God back into my life and he let this happen to me again. I stopped believing. I stopped everything, praying, going to church, everything.
After almost losing my life twice during transplant I began to think again that this event in my life was over. I started to go back to school and find my old group of friends. While I started to live life again, the life of one of my really good friends had ended. Jessica Foti was dead. I couldn’t believe it and just stood there and stared, I didn’t have one thought enter my mind other than Jessica’s face. One month after I found out about Jessica, I found out that I relapsed for the second time.
I went back to the hospital and told them that I wasn’t going to do it anymore and my parents, doctors, and nurses were leaving it up to me whether I was going to do the torturous treatment again. For a while I didn’t know what to do but then I realized what I had to do to live. I knew exactly what was going to happen to me and I hoped for it to be easier than the last 2 times. I felt the pressure to live.
I ended up doing 21 more months for chemo. During the beginning I lost 2 more of my best friends, get in your face Jesse, and Mike. Jesse’s parents promised if he made it to his 18th birthday that they would get him a BMW. He did make it but it wasn’t long after that he passed away. Innocent Michael passed away, I don’t remember anything of him at the end because I think I blocked it out and try to remember him a wake and jumping around.
The first month I lost my hair again and all remember doing was coming out of the shower screaming for my mom and fell to the ground because I was told that I might not lose my hair and I did. I think I was kind of ok with doing the treatment. I just didn’t want others to see what was happening to me, because then everyone would know. This time I was much easier with it, I wore bandanas instead of my wigs and let my close family see me without it on, I guess I started to feel more comfortable.
After, a couple months one of my closest friends Jesse Spina had died. I couldn’t believe that it was true until I went to his funeral and actually saw him. I couldn’t even go near him and felt like I was going to throw up because I had just seen him alive and moving around. All I could do it go to his mom's arms and cry. All I kept thinking was what God would do this to children. I started thinking what if I was next, what if the doctors where going to say to me that there was nothing more that they can do?
Thankfully, by the end of my treatment the doctors were now getting more comfortable with taking me off treatment, and they did. The nightmare was finally over. I have been in remission for over 3 years and still can’t believe it.
Although going back to school was so hard for me because a lot of my friends moved on without me. I guess they thought I was old news. It was so confusing. It hurt so much. Even school itself was not as easy as I thought it would be. I had a lot a catching up to do because I had missed so much. But I figured I had been through cancer I would make it through this, and I have. I have a close group of friends and my family is stronger than ever. It is still very hard for me but I have slowly started to let God back into my life a little more each day.
I believe that God has a plan for everyone and I think my ordeal happen for a reason. I came to the realization last year that I want to be a doctor. I don’t think I ever would have known that nor had the strength to pursue if I didn’t gain the strength from my ordeal. Hopefully I can influence someone in the future just like the doctors have helped me.

Nicole's Speaks to Rider's at Lake Tahoe. You must click below to pause music first.